This I walk not because I’m bold or brave,
But from fear of that day I’m old and grave
~Andy “Raven” Cai (NOBO 2014)
Those words echoed through my head over and over again as I stood at the edge of Katahdin Stream Campground on the muggy morning of July 11th, 2019, mosquitoes buzzing around my head as I stared at the first white blaze…the first step of my southbound (SOBO) thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail (the AT), a 2,200-mile hiking trail that runs non-stop through 14 states in the Eastern USA. For south-bounders (SOBOs) like me, the trail starts at the top of Mt. Katahdin in northern Maine and runs all the way down to the top of Springer Mountain in northern Georgia.
I came to Katahdin to thru-hike the AT because, just like my wife Ashli (trail name: Katniss Neverclean), I’m terrified of the possibility that one day, my body will be old and frail, my hair will be grey (if not completely gone), and that in my final days, I’ll be despairing over the fact that I never had the opportunity to truly live a rich and full life filled with wonder and excitement. So…while my legs still had some kick left in them, while my lungs could still take a pounding, and while my heart still sought a grand adventure, I knew it was time to take on the challenge that Ashli/Katniss had successfully completed in 2014: go for a super long walk across the Eastern USA.
And so, with those words continuing to pound in my head, I walked past that white blaze and began a 4,200-foot climb up Mount Katahdin, the largest mountain in the state of Maine. My 2019 SOBO thru-hike was underway.
It’s now July 27th, and I’m sitting at a computer in a library in Rangely, Maine, and I honestly have no idea how to write this blog in a way that is interesting and at the same time, not some sort of epic novel that takes a long time to read and write.
In the last 16 days since I first started up Katahdin, I’ve completed 220.4 miles of trail and I already feel like I can write a long elaborate Tolkien-like tale recapping that’s happened in that stretch of time. I could sit at this computer all day and tell you everything, but considering this is my first real travel blog, I’m not sure that’s the best way to tackle this. I don’t think there’s any way you can accurately capture in a blog everything that you experience while going on a thru-hike, even in as short a span as 16 days. How can you accurately portray the anger you feel on Day 7, when you spike your trekking poles on the ground in frustration after falling down ANOTHER slick patch of rock and screaming out loud with tears in your eyes “I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!”, without turning it into a long essay? How can you accurately describe the beauty of Day 16, when you’re hiking across three 4,000-foot peaks in a single day and can see two states and the Atlantic Ocean from your viewpoint, without just going off into the weeds in terms of detail?
So bear with me while I try to recap the main points of what’s happened to me thus far on this trip, and what will continue to happen to me as I plod further south. For now, I guess my plan is to write a short summary of each day (with a picture) to describe what I was dealing with out here on my thru-hike. In terms of the personal experiences and thoughts and emotions I dealt with on a daily basis, perhaps I’ll save that for another time, or maybe even a different blog…maybe even a book.
For now, though, I want to take you on a day-by-day recap of my journey. I hope you enjoy it, and of course, I can tweak the style of the blog as necessary as we go along.
Sound good? Alright, here we go….
DAY 1–July 11th, 2019
All in all, 7.5 hours to cover the gnarliest single climb of the entire AT…a 4,200-foot climb in a span of 5.2 miles up Mount Katahdin to get to the official starting point of the AT, then turning around and heading back down before the storms overtake the summit. On the way down, I swam in the Katahdin Stream right next to a waterfall, then met a sweet couple from Concord back in the campground who treated me and 5 new hiking friends (Photon, Cool Runnings, Buckaroo, Snakes, and Coldstone) to a free dinner of hot dogs, burgers, chicken, chips, beer, soda, and steak. Thanks Marc and Angie! Off to bed. One day done.
MILES COVERED: 10.4 miles (5.2 miles up Katahdin, then 5.2 miles back down)
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 5.2 miles
DAY 2–July 12th, 2019
All day through the pouring rain. Eyes swam with tears a couple times as I felt overwhelmed and homesick, missing Ashli and my dogs already. Popped in my headphones and forced myself to dance and sing as I slogged my way through muddy, mosquito-filled bogs. Saw a moose at mile 8.5! Sat and ate with NOBO’s at Abol Bridge for 3 hours. Stepped into the infamous “100-mile wilderness”, the most remote stretch of trail on the entire AT. Stayed at Hurd Brook Lean-To with new friends
MILES COVERED: 13.4 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 18.6 miles
Day 3–July 13th, 2019
Caught up with two hiking friends, Fossey and Figaro. On a sunny, beautiful day, we hiked and sang, bellowing out Broadway and Opera all while following the white blazes. Swam at Rainbow Stream Lean-To and had lunch. Got bit by a blackfly for the first time and I think getting tasered is less painful. Felt super strong on a super-flat stretch and pushed on 19.6 MILES(!!!) to Wadleigh Stream Lean-To with Photon and Cool Runnings. Slept in the shelter for the night as wind and rain pounded it.
MILES COVERED: 19.6 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 38.2 miles
Day 4–July 14th, 2019
Already need a breather from these constant bugs (my legs are giant welts from all the mosquito bites), the constant roots and mud, and my perpetual homesickness. Found an oasis in the Wilderness…White House Landing. Went down a side trail and called on the radio from the dock. They came and took me on a lovely boat ride to a lakeside house. Drank soda and beer and devoured a pizza (hiker hunger already!). Suddenly, my strength and resolve grows. The lake is beautiful in the afternoon sun. Maybe I can do this after all…
MILES COVERED: 7.5 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 45.7 miles
Day 5–July 15th, 2019
Filled with resolve and strength after a day out of the woods, I push on through flat terrain and bang out my first 20+-miler. Thank you Boy Scout Troop 64 from Massachusetts for the candy bars along the trail! Reached my food drop at the mid-point of the 100-mile wilderness. Sat with Zulu Beard and devoured some grub, including the doughnuts that Photon and Cool Runnings (now over a day ahead of me because they apparently have rockets on their shoes) snuck into my food drop. You guys rock. Pushed on to East Branch Lean-To and met Bart Simpson and Scotch. Your snoring was quite musical that night.
MILES COVERED: 22.1 miles (MY FIRST 20-MILE DAY!)
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 67.8 miles
Day 6–July 16th, 2019
Climbed my first mountains since Katahdin…Whitecap, Haystack, and another one I’ve already forgotten. Ate lunch in a campground with my kilt-wearing buddy Loner. The sun and breeze is lovely, and all is well. Forded the West Branch of the Penobscot River and managed to keep myself relatively dry. Met Clear Skies and Goldenrod and we stealth camped at Katahdin Iron Works road. The hike is going well…too well…something bad has to be coming…
MILES COVERED: 16.6 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 84.4 miles
Day 7–July 17th, 2019
…The storm I feared was coming finally hits, both literally and figuratively. Climbed over the Chairback range in the pouring rain. Awful day. Water filter broke. Slipped and fell 5 times on the wet rocks. Legs and arms bleeding. On the fifth fall, spiked my trekking poles and sat down on a rock in tears, wanting more than anything to go home. Everything sucks. “Why am I out here? I don’t belong here. I’m weak. I’m stupid. I’m pathetic. I’m a selfish asshole and a worthless loser. LOSER! I should just go home and keep being the loser I’ve always been. That’s all I’m ever gonna be…a worthless loser.” After an hour of this perpetual self-loathing as the rain continues to pelt me, I finally eat some food, bandage my cuts, force myself to stand up, wipe the hot tears away, and force myself to keep going. Right on cue, as I descend the last mountain, the clouds part and I reach Long Pond Stream Lean-To for the night. I’m a mess after a day of struggle, but I feel this “loser” has achieved a small victory.
MILES COVERED: 15.0 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 99.4 miles
Day 8–July 18th, 2019
Made it out of the 100-mile wilderness and entered the 100-miler club. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, both mentally and spiritually. I’m beat up and I need a day off in civilization. My ankles have been ripped to shreds by my shoes…sharp broken plastic in the heels jabbed me for a week straight, and now my feet look like hamburger. But…I’m still standing. Found out that over half the SOBO’s quit before the end of the 100-mile wilderness. I didn’t. I’m still standing. Caught a ride to Shaw’s Hostel in Monson. Caught up with Fossey, Photon, Cool Runnings, Rabbit, Cowboy, Young Bull, Hot Sauce, Lucas, and countless others. Like a B-12 shot, my heart leaps at the realization I will never have such a long wilderness stretch again on this hike. Maybe I’m not that much of a loser, after all.
MILES COVERED: 15.1 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 114.5 miles
Day 9–July 19th, 2019
Food. Drinks. Complete resupply and laundry. Playing a piano. Reading books. EATING FOOD. FOOD! FOOD!!! FOOD!!!!!! Spending all day with new friends. Got new shoes and inserts and a new water filter with help from Poet. His advice and gear suggestions saved my thru-hike. My feet will now heal as I continue on, and continue on I will! A wonderful day. This is what I hoped for.
MILES COVERED: ZERO DAY!
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 114.5 miles
Day 10–July 20th, 2019
A gut-busting breakfast at Shaw’s, bandages on my now-healing ankles, and I’m out the door, ready for the trail. I thought a few days ago that Monson would be where my hike would end and this “loser” would go home. Nope. Pushing on. Why not? My new strength, my new gear, great weather, and great terrain allows me to push out another 20+-mile day. Forded three rivers (fell in on the 3rd one, but I enjoyed how cool it was). Reached Bald Mountain Brook Lean-To and hung out with Fossey, Burgers, Beer, Agey, Scavenger, and Ju-ju. Starting to get in a rhythm here.
MILES COVERED: 22.0 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 136.5 miles
Day 11–July 21st, 2019
Already, I can be in another town! No more long stretches of wilderness. Shanty (my official trail name at this point…bestowed upon me a few days earlier by Photon) is a town boy, and eager for another bunk bed and gut-busting breakfast. Dashed over Pleasant Pond Mountain and reached a shelter for lunch just as the sky opened up and dumped lightning bolts and buckets of rain everywhere. Got soaked while getting water to filter, but so what? It’s refreshing and my pack is dry in the shelter. OK, fine, the lightning was scary, but as long as I’m below treeline, I kinda feel safe. Surprised how little the storms bother me compared to my childhood when I was terrified of them. Reached Caratunk and the B&B in early afternoon. Paul (the owner) is the MAN! His strawberry milkshake was insane! Got a lift to Northern Outdoors just north of the B&B for dinner and booze (I love you, Nachos and Blueberry Beer). Tented in the yard for the night.
MILES COVERED: 14.7 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 151.2 miles
Day 12–July 22nd, 2019
“I deserve to be happy”…this is a motto I’ve been instructed to repeat to myself over and over again when I’m stuck in my pattern of “I’m worthless and I’m a loser and I don’t deserve anything good.” Today, I followed that motto. Ankles and feet are still recovering from the injuries I sustained in the 100-mile wilderness, so decided to take another zero day. Another day of pumping myself full of food and beer, and hanging out with friends. Good friends. Hikers are genuinely good people at heart. Team Brick, Fossey, Cowboy, Rabbit, Red, Billy Goat, Checklist, Spice Boy, and more. You are the best.
MILES COVERED: ZERO DAY!
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 151.2 miles
Day 13–July 23rd, 2019
Gut-busting breakfast at the B&B, and I’m practically running out the door back to the trail. It’s calling for me now. I run to the river and cross the Kennebec on the first available ferry. From there, I go 21.7 miles across flat terrain in just 9.5 hours! WHEEE!!!! But…it wasn’t all sunshine…just 2 miles from the end of the day, as I cross a paved road, my mind suddenly screams “stick your thumb out and go home. You don’t belong here. You don’t want to be here”, and suddenly, out of nowhere, my happiness is gone and I’m sitting in the middle of the road, tears running down my face. What the hell, brain? Why did you ruin something so good? After 5 minutes of just sitting in the road (thankfully, no cars came by to tempt me), I once again stood up, ate a candy bar, wiped my eyes, and continued on alone into the woods. 2 miles later, I was sitting with Longshanks and Borderline in the Little Bigalow Lean-To. 2 hours of conversation and laughter as we ate dinner was JUST what I needed.
MILES COVERED: 21.7 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 172.9 miles
Day 14–July 25th, 2019
Enough playing around. The flat part is over. It’s time to actually start climbing the big-kid mountains of Maine. In front of me is the first test…the Bigalow Range. I pop in the headphones and scramble up Avery Peak by 10 AM. I catch Longshanks, Borderline, and Team Brick shortly afterwards, and I’m over the last peak by 1 PM. Continued pushing for Maine Highway 27…I want another day in a bunk. Reached the road by 2:30 and had my first successful hitch to the Hostel of Maine. A BEAUTIFUL oasis. Caught up with Petra, Retune, Badass, and 41. We had the whole place to ourselves and they ran takeout for us! Gorged on BBQ Pizza, fries, and beer, then right to sleep. My body is starting to revolt and grow tired. Food and sleep are my only respite now, but I’m frickin’ DOING it.
MILES COVERED: 15.3 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 188.2 miles
Day 15–July 25th, 2019
A continental breakfast and an early shuttle back to the trail. Those mountains ain’t gonna climb themselves, and the sun has been on my side for the last few days. The next test…the Crockers, Sugarloaf, and Spaulding. Over 7,000 feet of elevation gain in a single day. Heaven help me, that was tough. Legs are screaming and I think I left my left lung somewhere on Sugarloaf, but again, I will not be beaten on this sunny day. Hiked with Team Brick and a new character…Roadrunner. We raced each other to a waterfall at mile 206.9 and camped together for the night with Speedy and Gonzalez. Sharing food, whisky, and stories around a campfire. That was very nice. 🙂
MILES COVERED: 18.7 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 206.9 miles
Day 16–July 26th, 2019
The Saddlebacks. Ouch. My legs are frickin’ brutalized from three days of climbing. Traveler bucked up my spirits halfway through the day. Had lunch on top of Saddleback with Roadrunner. Gepeto and Beaches find me at the Piazza Rock Lean-To half-asleep and hugging a pole. Finally walk into the Hiker Hut in Rangely dragging my trekking poles behind me on the ground. I’m truly and righteously fatigued and my spirits sag a little from the mental and physical exhaustion I’m already feeling from three days in the mountains…and from the knowledge that the next two weeks of the trail are the hardest section of the entire AT. But I’m not done yet. 60 miles stand between me and New Hampshire and 130 miles stand between me and the other side of the White Mountains. There’s a war coming and I’m ready and willing to fight. For today, though, it’s pounds of food and liters of booze in Rangely as I prepare to give my legs a day of rest.
MILES COVERED: 13.5 miles
TOTAL DISTANCE OF AT COVERED: 220.4 miles
And now here I sit on Day 17, taking a zero to let my legs recover, and preparing to go eat more food. Day 18 will be the start of a brutal 2-week stretch that takes me across the mountains of Southern Maine and across the White Mountains of New Hampshire. This section is considered to be BY FAR the most difficult and dangerous section of the entire AT. I hope I’m ready…I hope that the title of “loser” that my mind loves to dump on me from time to time will be stripped and left to rot somewhere on the summit of Mt. Washington while I press on. Time will tell. 🙂
Thanks for reading this blog, everyone. Look for another one in the next couple of weeks, and hope you’re all doing well. Hike on!
~Andrew B. AKA “Shanty”
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2 comments
Did you happen to write Hot Sauce Sobo 2019 in a book near a totem pole ? My name is Sobo , I had a friend send me a picture of someone that wrote in a book. Googled it and got read your amazing story .
Frickin Amazing Dude – There is no loser within you.